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The Left Wing Madness
The Left Wing Madness was a pseudo-liberal, commie-fascist, terrorist movement initiated by a number of Stephen Colbert's enemies, including liberals, communists, hippies, Neil Young, French-Canadians, and bears. The deadly alliance's main objective was to instate a bear run gouvernment, or bearocracy, in the Canadian province of Manitoba. Luckily, the alliance was thwarted by Stephen's daring heroism during the Great Bear Incident of 2005 in which he used Kool-Aid to drug the bears, giving Manitobans a chance to overthrow the godless killing machines. Origin and History Theorists believe that the Left Wing Madness was primarily orchestrated by Stephen's arch-nemisis Colbear as a preparatory step towards the Bear uprising of 2012. Colbear saw Manitoba, with its overwhelming bear-to-human ratio, as an ideal place to establish his headquarters. He first sought the help of the Polar Bears, whose agnosticism made them easy to sway, while their tolerance to Manitoba's ridiculously low temperatures made them ideal ground troups during battle. The Polar Bears first infiltrated the town of Churchill in 1998 where they recruited bear-loving freaks and naive tourists into their ranks. They then moved into the forests where they were joined by French-Canadian lumberjacks. Once the Left Wing Madness had been established, Colbear relinquished its care into the hands of mega-terrorist Winnie The Pooh who proceeded to infiltrate the capital city of Winnipeg and establish himself as dictator in 2001. Tactis Used by The LWM The Left Wing Madness used several tactics, both military and otherwise, in order to attain power over Manitoba. Their main strategies were based on those used by Hitler during World War II, and included the use of pro-bear propaganda and the abuse of French people. Members of the movement were also known to use brutal torture against resisters, such as subjecting them to repeated old tapings of "The Daily Show." Members such as Winnie The Pooh were later charged with Crimes Against Humanity for having used such cruel tactics. Stephen Colbert and The Great Bear Incident In 2005, Stephen Colbert began his brave and noble initiative to liberate Canada from the evil influences of liberals and bears. His show was broadcasted in Canada, enabling Stephen to warn Manitobans of the bears' evil tyranny and inform them on how to combat them. This inspired Manitoba residents with new hope and rekindled their balls so that they could take up arms against the godless killing machines. The bears saw the threat that Stephen posed to their evil plans and sent hordes and legions of liberals and communists to destroy all traces of The Colbert Report in Manitoba. Stephen retaliated by summoning an army of ten-thousand eagles led by Dick Cheney in full hunting attire to combat the Left Wing Madness and shoot them in the face. However, the bears were still too powerful. Finally, Stephen came up with the brilliant plan to use the communist poison known as Kool-Aid against the bears, causing them to see John Ashcroft everywher and subsequently die. Stephen cooly added to this outcome: "They got a taste of their own medicine... and it is deadly." Having lost the bears, the liberals proceeded to cut and run like the cowards they are. The LWM today The Left Wing Madness is still alive to this day, anxiously awaiting the Bear Uprising of 2012 when they can exact their revenge upon Stephen Colbert. It is believed that they have taken refuge to the north, where they club baby seals and eat their brains for sustenance. Paul McCartney has attempted to stop this but his efforts are being thwarted by Canada's reemerging pro-bear, anti-seal doctrine. See Also *Great Bear Incident *Kool-Aid *Winnie The Pooh *Manitoba